Remember. Remember. Remember.

“Remember” is a powerful word…particularly if you actually will do the action of remembering. Interestingly, if you look at the Bible, the word “remember” occurs over 200 times depending on the version or translation you read.
 
(As an aside, the word “remember” occurs 232 times in the Complete Jewish Bible, 234 times in the English Standard Version, and 210 times in the King James Bible—just to select three different versions.)
 
In Deuteronomy alone, the word occurs 14 times.
 
In Numbers 15:37-41, God spoke through Moses to tell the Israelites to remember the commands He had give them by wearing tassels. Think of it as an illustrated sermon that they would see every day.
 
I have often criticized the Israelites for not remembering what God had told them and/or had done for them.
            He parted the Red Sea so that they could cross over on dry ground, to escape from the Egyptians, and then destroyed the Egyptian army.
            He provided food for millions of Israelites every day for 40 years in the desert.
            He provided water from the rock in the same desert.
            The LORD’s track record was perfect. Yet they did not remember.
 
Then I start looking at my own life and see that I’ve punted into the stands with failing to remember myself.
 
If you’ve read previous blog posts, then you’re aware that I watched my pregnant wife Jenny and five-year-old son Danny die on 14 December 1997 during a military move from Bridgeport, California, to Fort Leonard Wood (FLW), Missouri. I was crushed and driven to my knees.
 
Yet, I found God to be an ever-present Comforter who gave me strength to keep going one day at a time. In fact I got closer to the LORD than ever before—I didn’t know that you could get that close to the LORD. I began to talk with Him about everything.
 
The Marine Corps reassigned me from Missouri to the Upstate of South Carolina, and I lived with my parents along with my three-year-old daughter Hannah and nine-month-old son Ethan.
 
I sought the LORD’s guidance on should I continue serving on active duty as a Marine. Or should I get out of the military.
 
I was unsure if my job as a combat engineer (and having to be world-wide deployable) would be incompatible with my new role as a single parent to two young children.
 
One day in February 1998, while out on a run on my parents’ property, I began talking with the LORD.
 
I said, I’ll never remarry. It hurts too much, losing Jenny. Anyway, I don’t believe anyone will accept me and love Hannah and Ethan.
 
(Note: I didn’t want to hurt Hannah and Ethan by remarrying and then discovering my new wife did not love my children—the fairytale evil stepmother syndrome.)
 
After the run, as I cooled down with some stretching exercises, the LORD quietly spoke to my heart, saying, What if I ask you to remarry?
 
I considered God’s question for some time, and then answered Him with this thought: No, LORD. This pain of losing Jenny and Lil Danny is almost unbearable. I don’t think I can handle loving another lady and risk losing her in death. It’s too much of a risk.
 
I resisted the idea of remarrying, even if God asked me to.
 
I felt no peace in my life, so I relented and prayed, LORD, please forgive me. I’ll remarry, but I only ask that You show me that it’s clearly Your leading. I’m willing to remain single and lonely do that Hannah and Ethan are not hurt. Please make it clear if and when You want me to remarry. I’m not looking for another wife.
 
The only problem was I failed to record this conversation/prayer request in my journal.
 
Fast forward to April 1998. At that point, I had moved to FLW, to obey the LORD as I believed He wanted me to continue serving on active duty. I had checked in to FLW to attend the U.S. Army Engineer School’s Engineer Officer Advanced Course (EOAC) and, upon graduation in September, then would serve as the Marine instructor for the EOAC.
 
On Easter Sunday (12 April 1998), I was sitting in FLW’s Soldier Memorial Chapel for the Sunday morning service, and I looked over to the right aisle to see this incredible scene prior to the service starting.
 
Picture sunlight streaming through a huge window…looking like a spotlight from Heaven. I see a beautiful, young lady walk in to that spotlight.  And I heard the LORD speak to my heart, There’s your next wife.
 
It seemed so real, I turned around to see if a human was speaking aloud and playing a cruel trick. No one was sitting near me.
 
Since I’m slow as a Marine, the LORD spoke again, There’s your next wife.
 
The LORD took care of meeting this young lady, and I learned that she was Elnora Lee Carlson, an Army chaplain’s daughter.
 
For a week I wrestled with the idea of marrying Nora. I had not expected to meet a young lady in FLW. In fact I was still wearing my wedding band from Jenny and was not looking for my next wife.
 
I was an emotional wreck by Friday night. Jacob wrestled with an angel of God for a night. I tried to wrestle with God for an entire week—and it broke me.
 
The FLW chapel had a praise and worship service on Friday nights. So I attended that week’s service and then went to the altar to talk with God. And submit to the idea of marrying Nora.
 
Weeks later it hit me of how ridiculous it was that I had gotten into a lather emotionally and had not been at peace for so many days. I had asked God to make it clear if He wanted me to remarry. And He did just that…He made it clear enough so that a Marine could understand.
 
The problem: I had failed to write the February 1998 discussion/request to the LORD in my journal. Thus, I failed to remember.
 
If I had remembered, then I would have seen God answering a very specific request.
 
So my friend, may this vignette encourage you to remember what God has spoken to you. Through His word the Bible. Through creation. Through speaking to your heart.
 
He is the Marine Corps motto Semper Fidelis (“Always Faithful”).
 
Remember. Remember. Remember.
 

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